I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
