Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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