thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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