Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
