I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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