Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
