I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
