Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
