So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
