I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
