I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
