I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
