Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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