she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
