you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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