So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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