I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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