i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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