If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
