He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
And then he peed in my hair
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