Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
