dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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