I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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