Too much gin, very little bucket
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
