dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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