What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The beer is more important than you right now.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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