You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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