I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
