the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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