VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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