Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
