I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
