No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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