Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
