Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
