and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
