Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
