haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
