I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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