It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You are a genius and a whore.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
