our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
