She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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