Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.

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(760): View more from California

I wish they had nachos that got you drunk

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(410): View more from Maryland

my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It was confusing and full of hummus

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(415): View more from California

It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.

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(740): View more from Ohio

So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.

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(614): View more from Ohio

A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML

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