Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
