the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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