So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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