is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
