So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
