After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
