Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just threw up on my dentist
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
