i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
