Can Purell be used as lube?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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