so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize