Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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