there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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