If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
