everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
