I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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