Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
