whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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