I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
