your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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