we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
